I have had an anger problem for all my life and I have struggled to manage my anger. I yell, scream, throw things, and downright get childish at times. While working with my therapist on an unrelated issue she mentioned something about anger that stuck with me and I don’t think I ever even mentioned it to her that she forever changed my life. She stated that anger is the one emotion that we permit ourselves to take on another personality. She was of course speaking on those of us who have anger management issues. She stated…”When you get angry for some reason you tell yourself it is ok to physically be 49yrs old but act 5yrs old. It is ok to invade someone’s personal space, destroy another person’s property, cause physical harm or abuse another person or verbally abuse those around you.” “It is only when the emotion of anger is present that you believe this is acceptable behavior (liking jumping in and out character/roles). Once no longer not angry you identify how horrible this behavior is…remorse is there, and regret sets in.” I never quite looked at myself as a person jumping in and out of character like a person with a split personality or something, but she was exactly right. When I get angry I was a whole different person and I would always hide behind an excuse of what made me angry instead of focusing on the behavior of what I did when I was angry. She explained a person of good character who is good and kind….should be good and kind always (not depending on what emotion is present). I took this to heart and defined what type of character I believe I had. I wrote down my 5 best characteristics and I now live by them regardless of my emotions. My characteristics are gentle, loving, respectful, trusting, and compassionate. To live by these I had to release (swearing, yelling, disrespect, fighting, destroying other’s property, physical abuse, and verbal abuse). My family respects me again, they see a new me and I am so thankful for this golden nugget.
